Finding Becky

Finding Becky

Becky is my mom.

My non-stop, project-seeking, geneology-loving, grandchild-adoring, devoted mom.  Well, that's who she used to be.  Time has a funny way of seeping into the cracks of life, and turning everything upside down.  While vestiges of her former self still remain, she has been mortally ravaged by forces out of her control.  Dementia.

Have you ever felt like life isn't fair.  Well, it's not. I remind my kids of that often for good reason. And for the record....this disease simply isn't fair.

My mom has dementia; a disease that steals life.  Draining. Haunting. Unforgiving. Dementia.

BUT...... this blog isn't about what she's lost, what I've lost, what my kids, brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, and friends have lost.  This is about what we've FOUND.  And of equal importance, what she's found.

Becky, or Rebecca (depending on when in life you met her), has always been a whirlwind force for good.  She met and married Jay Crowther at age 19, and began her family.  Her dream had always been to have a dozen children.  She made it more than 1/2 way, with seven amazing children, the middle, of course, being the most favored.   Hmm-mmm.  Anyway, her seven children and 22 grandchildren have been the center of her energetic life for almost 50 years.

Around 2006, when we started seeing signs of forgetfulness (more than the usual variety) at the age of 59, we all had an inkling of what was ahead.  Her father had Alzheimer's.  Maybe hers was inevitable.  We hoped beyond hope that this seemingly early onset would not  play out completely for many years to come.  But time seeped rapidly into her mind, and here we are, entering stage 7 dementia just a few months before her 70th birthday.

As I continue this blog, details of my amazing mother's life will flesh out.  But as a beginning point, I'd like to share a video of when Mom FOUND a much needed friend in herself just over a year ago. The discovery of herself in the mirror brought a few realizations to me.

First, we were entering a new stage of this disease, and it was heart-wrenching, and a little alarming.

Second, there was humor to be found in the moment.

Third, now that I think about it, not just humor, but JOY!  This was a day when Mom found JOY. And for that reason, I let the joy permeate.  I may be one of her caretakers, but she's still the one teaching me.